


Save Yourself:  Shadows and Regrets

by DimiGex



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Genma is almost certainly going to be inappropriate, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, KakaYama - Freeform, M/M, Mission Fic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance of some sort, Serious things are coming, Somehow this turned into everyone teasing Tenzo, Teasing, Tenzo can't handle his alcohol, but Teasing Tenzo is a good backup in case they don't, i think, innuendos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimiGex/pseuds/DimiGex
Summary: Life as an ANBU soldier is harder than Tenzo expected it to be, and he's beginning to crack under the pressure after the loss of two teammates. He turns to Kakashi for answers, only to realize his captain may not have them either. When they get thrown into their most dangerous mission, things get complicated quickly.





	1. Reflections and Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Drinking, Kakashi angst, Tenzo angst, mention of death, nightmares, ptsd  
>   
> Author's Note: I wasn't happy with this story the way it stood because I didn't properly lay the groundwork for what was coming. Now that I have a better idea of where I'm going, I went back and edited. There haven't been a lot of changes. Mostly inner cringing at my earlier writing and clearing up a couple of plot points. Plus, I combined chapter one and two to make a more cohesive chapter.

 

The cool autumn air swirled through the village of Konoha, twisting between the buildings as if left behind the scent of damp and decaying leaves. Dusk painted the sky the color of a deep bruise, streaked with red and gold, and the chill had driven nearly everyone inside so quiet hung in the air. Silence shrouded the cemetery and a few crimson, orange, or yellow leaves drifted down on the breeze. A lone figure knelt by one of the grave markers, his black and grey armor blending into the shadows, while his pale hair stood out in sharp contrast. Kakashi's fingers caressed the name carved into the stone.

Curled in the shadowed branches of a nearby tree, Tenzo watched his captain. His own ANBU armor greedily drank in the darkness but for the white mask hanging from one hand. A similar mask lay on the ground by Kakashi's feet. Kakashi was speaking, and though the words were too soft to hear, Tenzo had observed this ritual before. Kakashi was telling his former teammate about their mission.

After making his report to the Hokage, Kakashi had come straight to the grave without delaying to clean himself up. The dried blood sprayed across the front and side of his vest was still visible. While Kakashi had been wounded, Tenzo knew most of the blood on his uniform belonged to the two teammates they'd lost today. Tenzo wondered if Kakashi shared those dark details with the girl he'd lost so long ago. Probably not.

As night fell more deeply, wrapping the world in its velvety cloak, Tenzo slipped to the ground and made his way toward Kakashi. Before coming here, Tenzo had stopped to pick up a bottle of whiskey, something he rarely had occasion for on his own. He didn't particularly like feeling out of control of his emotions, but after what happened today, Tenzo thought Kakashi could use the company. If he'd allow Tenzo to get close to him, that was.

Kakashi spoke without turning toward the other man. He crouched now, rather than kneeling on the damp grass. "I was wondering when you'd make your presence known. What do you want, Tenzo?"

"Do I need a reason?" Tenzo shifted the bottle in his hand, wondering if he dared admit to not wanting to be alone.

The man before him had earned the nickname Coldblooded Kakashi for a reason, after all. But Tenzo didn't think Kakashi was as heartless as he led everyone to believe. Calloused men didn't spend their time in a graveyard mourning lost friends. He sighed. "I don't know, I just thought— "

"You're too old for this to be the first mission where you've lost someone." Kakashi interrupted, turning to gaze at Tenzo over his right shoulder, dark half-mask hiding his expression. Kakashi spoke of death like an old friend, and his voice made the cold wind feel like a summer breeze.

Tenzo felt a blush creep toward his cheeks. "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

Kakashi stood, brushing the grass from his pants, before turning to look at Tenzo. "No, it doesn't, but you have to respect their sacrifice."

"I do," Tenzo whispered softly, realizing he'd made a mistake. It didn't seem that his captain would tolerate, much less welcome company tonight. Kakashi was one of the most brilliant shinobi alive, but he could also be distant, ruthless, and arrogant. Tenzo had heard that Kakashi was insufferable until the death of his teammates, but he hadn't tried to pry into the captain's past.

Kakashi tugged the bottle from Tenzo's hands, drawing him back to reality. "I didn't count you for a drinker, Tenzo." If he'd known everything Tenzo had been through, Kakashi might have understood his urge to lose himself in something, anything, other than reality.

"I'm not really," he answered. "But it seemed fitting."

Kakashi nodded, spinning the top off the bottle in his hand. "You know the rest of our team will be doing the same thing in a bar somewhere, right? Drinking to their memory, I mean."

"You don't go with them?" Tenzo glanced at Kakashi from the corner of his eye. While the man was a step above them as captain, but he was generally well liked among the other men and women in ANBU. It surprised Tenzo that he would hold himself away from them when they were all grieving over the same losses.

"I'm their captain, part of them but separate." Kakashi ran fingers through his silver hair. "They can't see weakness or they'll question my strength when it matters. You shouldn't either." His single, uncovered eye focused on Tenzo's face.

The younger man frowned, realizing that Kakashi had revealed a crack in his usually impenetrable armor. "I would never question your strength, senpai. You're only human."

Kakashi laughed, short and brittle. Rather than answering, he tipped up the bottle up, and took a long swallow of the brown liquid. "To Nobuo and Akiko," he murmured, then passed it to Tenzo.

Imitating Kakashi was another bad idea, and Tenzo tried not to betray the way the alcohol burned his throat. Kakashi watched him cap the bottle, then looked down at the grave one, last time before turning to face his teammate. "I'm surprised you're even old enough to buy alcohol, Tenzo," he chuckled.

"I'm an elite ANBU shinobi, do you think I'd let a little thing like my age stop me from getting what I wanted?" It bothered Tenzo that he'd been putting his life on the line for the village for more than ten years before he'd been allowed to drink.

"I think that you'd follow the rules to the letter, but that's what makes you a good shinobi." Kakashi smiled. Though Tenzo couldn't see it, he knew it was there.

The younger man's own smile barely curled the corners of his mouth. The alcohol hit his empty stomach hard, warming him even as it fuzzed his thoughts. Did killing when he was told make him a good shinobi? The men he'd fought were likely mourned as much as his own teammates were. Would their names be engraved on a village memorial stone somewhere? Would their friends stand by their graves, telling them about the world they were missing?

Warmth radiating from his shoulder drew Tenzo back to present. For the second time in as many minutes, Kakashi pulled him back from his bleak thoughts. "Don't think about it. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to reconcile the cost."

"If it's not worth the cost, why do we do it?" Tenzo looked at his captain, and wondered how long it had taken Kakashi to become so closed off. Shutting down all emotion was one way to deal with the ones that he didn't want to feel.

"Because someone has to." Kakashi's voice was emotionless and he didn't give Tenzo long to think about the question. He nodded toward the gate. "Come on, if you think about things too much after a mission you'll explode. Let's get changed, and see if we can't find the rest of our team."

Tenzo nodded and followed Kakashi back to town, feeling even emptier than before.

* * *

Three hours later, Kakashi shut the door to his apartment and leaned against it to take off his sandals. Each member of his team was now safely deposited in their own rooms, sleeping off the effects of too much alcohol. True to his earlier predictions to Tenzo, the other two shinobi on their team had already found a bottle, drinking to both the success of their mission, and the memory of their friends.

Kakashi was like glue, binding them together so Tenzo could blend seamlessly into the group that he usually held himself aside from. Kakashi had been careful to add only a few sips of alcohol to what he'd already shared with Tenzo. He wanted to make certain he could get everyone back to their rooms safely. That, and because he didn't trust himself to lose control around them. Not letting those under his leadership see weakness was someone Kakashi believed firmly in. Despite the soft warmth behind his eyes, Kakashi was otherwise unaffected by the alcohol.

Placing his shoes neatly to the side, Kakashi walked across the dark apartment while untying his hitai-tae. Pale hair fell into his eyes as he dropped the headband on the table, then flopped into a chair. A faint grunt slipped out as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Two more that he couldn't save despite his best efforts. Kakashi gave himself a few minutes to feel the angry ache of loss in his chest, then regulated his breathing and brought his emotions back under control. Reflection on regrets wouldn't accomplish anything.

Shrugging out of the standard green flak vest, Kakashi laid it over the second chair at the table and lifted his shirt. The fabric stuck to his side, glued there by blood. Though he had changed out of his ANBU uniform before going to the bar, Kakashi hadn't taken the time to treat his wounds as he should have, and the hasty bandage had shifted at some point, exposing the gash in his side. Peeling the cloth away, Kakashi pressed the skin around the cut. It needed stitched, most likely, but he didn't feel like being poked and prodded by the medical ninjas. Instead, he washed the cut with water and applied a new bandage. It would be good enough for tonight.

Tugging off his shirt off, Kakashi laid it and his mask aside. Unbidden, images of his lost teammate swam before his eyes. Akiko's green eyes full of terror as her life gurgled from the slit in her throat. Was that worth the intel they'd brought back to the village? Her face shifted to the eternally youthful one of Rin and a pang of regret ripped through the shinobi's chest. Kakashi shook his head, and pushed himself to his feet, stumbling toward the sink.

He splashed cool water on his face, and let his chin fall against his chest as he scrubbed damp fingers through his hair. What he needed was a shower and sleep, but the softened edges from drinking were already beginning to fade. He removed the rest of his gear but for his pants and selected a bottle from the ones sitting on his counter. His duty was done, both to his team and ANBU, so he could finally remove the front of strength he hid behind. He'd worn it for so long that Kakashi wondered if he was losing touch with his real self.

Taking a glass and the bottle, Kakashi dropped onto the couch and poured himself a glass up to the brim. If he thought back hard enough, Kakashi could remember the boy that cried and beat at the rock pinning Obito. He could recall the fresh pain he hadn't expected to feel. He'd always thought Obito was a worthless hindrance that held him back. Right up until the day the boy sacrificed himself for Kakashi.

Shuddering, Kakashi took a long pull on the alcohol, letting it burn its way through his throat. Even breathing was a sweet pain that reminded Kakashi he was alive. Tomorrow, he would go back to being Cold Blooded Kakashi, the heartless prodigy. Tomorrow, he would go back to being above emotion and pain. But for now, he tipped up the glass, losing himself in the pain and the memories.

Kakashi had finished his third, maybe fourth, glass when he heard clumsy banging on his door. It was well past the time that visitors could be expected, not that he ever received any. Frowning, he stood and steadied himself before pulling it open. The man standing outside looked far too inebriated to be out of bed.

"Tenzo?' The surprise in Kakashi's voice was impossible to disguise. "What are you doing here?" The man wore the sleeveless black shirt and matching pants of ANBU, but his usual head protector was missing. Instead, his brown hair stuck up in all directions, and his eyes were sleep-puffed and red.

"Shouldn't carry it alone," Tenzo's words were slurred almost to the point of unintelligible, but Kakashi understood on the third try. His kohai's voice rose louder each time that Kakashi failed to understand what he was trying to say.

Shaking his head, Kakashi put one hand firmly on Tenzo's muscled shoulder and drew him into the apartment before he could cause a scene in the hallway. The earnestness of Tenzo's words was at odds with the smile plastered on his face. It was then that Kakashi realized the younger man hadn't bothered to put his sandals on before walking here. Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle.

"You've had too much to drink tonight, Ten-chan." Tenzo frowned at the diminutive honorific but Kakashi spoke faster than his alcohol numbed mind could keep up with. "Let's get you back to your room."

Tenzo pulled away, sagging against the wall and almost falling. "Mean it, Kakashi. You don't always have to be the strong one." He focused hard on forming the syllables in each word to make himself understood. "Want to talk about it?"

Talking about it was perhaps the last thing Kakashi wanted to do, but seeing that Tenzo wouldn't be dissuaded, Kakashi nodded toward the couch. "I'm going to have another drink, maybe three to their memories. You can join me if you wish."

It was pointless to argue, and Tenzo would fall asleep soon anyway. Helping him to the couch, Kakashi poured himself another drink and half for Tenzo. The younger man didn't appear to notice as he drained the liquid in one gulp. Kakashi lifted his own but only touched the cool glass to his lips without drinking.

_Dammit_ , the alcohol must be slowing his mind if it took him that long to realize he wasn't wearing his mask, or a shirt for that matter. Placing his glass on the table in front of the couch, Kakashi pushed himself to his feet, and walked toward his bedroom.

"Where're you going," Tenzo's words were heavily slurred from the alcohol, and Kakashi didn't bother answering.

The last thing Kakashi wanted tonight was company, but with Tenzo looking at him like a lost puppy, Kakashi didn't have the heart to turn him away. The man needed comradery as much as Kakashi needed isolation. He needed the time alone to put himself back together, to repair the cracks in his façade of strength.

Kakashi paused in the dimness of his bedroom, exhaling and collecting himself. He would sit up with Tenzo until the man fell asleep, not drinking any more alcohol. That way he could keep some semblance of control over his emotions. The dizzy buzz through Kakashi's body told him that he'd already drank more than he should have.

Kakashi was pulling a shirt over his head when he heard the crash. Cursing, he stepped into the hallway and found Tenzo lying on the ground, table flipped over behind him. The bottle was thankfully still capped but Kakashi's drink was spreading in a puddle across the floor. Laughter at the scene bubbled up faster than anger at the mess.

"You really can't hold your drink," Kakashi chuckled, helping Tenzo back to his feet long enough to fall back onto the couch. "I think you've had enough for one night, maybe enough for an entire month." The man mumbled something but his words were indistinct.

Kakashi patted Tenzo's shoulder and settled on the couch beside him. As much as he wanted another drink, or five, Kakashi wouldn't drink in front of Tenzo. As captain, he was responsible for each person on his team. Alcohol had never actually solved anything, but Kakashi found himself longing for that blissful void of forgetfulness where the pain drifted away. Tenzo reclined on the couch, dark eyes drifting shut as he brought an arm over his eyes, like the dim light was too bright. His breathing was steadying out, and Kakashi assumed that Tenzo had already fallen asleep or was well on the way. Tenzo wasn't used to being drunk, and the full effect was hitting him hard.

Leaving the slumbering form on the couch, Kakashi righted the table and walked to kitchen for a rag to clean up the spilled alcohol. When he came back, Tenzo was muttering apologies under his breath, sinking deeper into the cushions behind him in a position that looked distinctly uncomfortable. His head was tipped to the side, neck bent, and he was lying on his right shoulder, arm thrown out. If Tenzo slept like that all night, he was going to be sore in the morning.

Kakashi wiped up the liquid with a cloth, then and carried that and his glass toward the kitchen. He could still hear Tenzo groaning in the other room, his apologies growing louder, more fervent. "It's fine," Kakashi called back, tossing the cloth into the sink.

When Tenzo cried out suddenly, Kakashi dropped the glass on the counter and hurried to his side. It took him a few seconds to realize Tenzo was still asleep, eyes squeezed shut while he trembled. Though he didn't often see other people having them, Kakashi was intimately familiar with nightmares. They'd been his constant companion since Obito and Rin.

Kneeling beside Tenzo, Kakashi shook him. "Wake up, Tenzo." The man whimpered deep in his throat and twisted, trying to get away. Kakashi tightened his grip, fingers digging into Tenzo's shoulders. "You're dreaming, Tenzo. Wake up."

Kakashi's voice came out as a growl and he was forced to let go when Tenzo swung wildly at whatever he was dreaming about. Kakashi caught his fist, and forced it away as he settled back on his heels. With one last tremble, the man was still, though his breathing was ragged. Kakashi shook his head, and placed a hand on the couch to push himself up.

"Whatever it is, it can't hurt you here," Kakashi murmured.

Tenzo's hand clasped around Kakashi's wrist like a vice, preventing him from moving away. "I couldn't save them, Kakashi, I couldn't save any of them."

"I'm sure you did your best," Kakashi returned, unsure whom or what Tenzo was referring to. "We can't save them all, as much as we'd like to."

If the man took any comfort in his words, it was impossible for Kakashi to tell. Despite everything, Tenzo still hadn't opened his eyes. Sighing, Kakashi pulled his wrist free and threw a blanket over Tenzo's prone form. There was no point in dragging the man back to his own room tonight.

At least this way, Kakashi could be certain there would be no trouble. He vaguely wondered if he should warn the man about the dangers of alcohol tomorrow. _Probably_. Kakashi picked up the bottle from where it had rolled when the table overturned, and carried it to his room, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Rin wept in his arms, tears running down her face as she begged Kakashi to kill her. All he could think about was the promise he made to Obito as the boy lay dying. He'd sworn to protect Rin, no matter what the cost. Did that supersede his allegiance to the village? It didn't matter. No matter how many times she asked him to, Kakashi could never take Rin's life. Not in this world or any other, with or without his promise to Obito.

She was the only thing he had left. His father was gone, Obito was gone, there was nothing left except for her. Rather than answering, he smoothed a hand over her brown hair until she stopped crying. It didn't take much time. The tears stopped flowing as if they'd never been, and he promised her that they'd find a way to fix things.

His soul screamed as he gazed into Rin's startled eyes, mere inches from his own. Kakashi's hand was warm from the blood running over it, Rin's blood. His chidori, the one thing he thought would become his best strength was his undoing. The chakra on his hand flickered briefly then went out, leaving him empty. Blood was starting to run down her chin as tears streamed down his own face. He could feel the damp warmth through his mask even if he couldn't breathe, think, or move. Then she smiled and whispered his name, voice breaking like his heart as he watched the light fade from her eyes.

"Rin, why? Why couldn't you wait until we got back to the village," Kakashi sobbed. "I promised to protect you, both of you." Obito's disapproving frown glared at him. Though the boy would never know it, Kakashi had failed him. There was nothing he could do but watch the endless loop of death play before his eyes.

This time, Kakashi screamed before his hand slid through Rin's chest, begging her to move out of the way. She met his eyes, and leaped directly in his path. His hand was warm with her blood, his face with his tears. Over and over, time and time again, he watched Rin and Obito both die. If he'd been only a moment faster, maybe he could have saved them, maybe it could have been different.

Kakashi woke panting and paralyzed, body refusing to obey his command to move, or reach for the bottle on the nightstand. He jerked frantically, desperate to be free.

"Your nightmares are loud," Tenzo's voice was husky with sleep, his breath warm against Kakashi's neck. The jonin's heart stuttered in his chest when he realized that he wasn't paralyzed. He couldn't move because Tenzo's arms were around him, pinning his own from flailing. He tried to fit this memory into place but couldn't.

"So are yours," Kakashi answered uncertainly, finding his voice. Tenzo was half asleep still, Kakashi could tell that much from his voice, but that meant he was half awake as well. For a moment, Kakashi almost didn't ask, he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but curiosity got the better of him. "Who couldn't you save, Tenzo?"

The man unwound his arms from Kakashi and sat up. The loss of his warmth made Kakashi shiver. Tenzo was silent for a long time, and Kakashi lay motionless, back to Tenzo. He'd given up on getting an answer when the man spoke. "There were other kids, like me. Orochimaru tested dozens of us, injecting us with the First Hokage's cells in hopes that we would be able to use wood technique. I watched them all die around me, in tubes of green liquid meant to keep us alive. Then, there was only me left, alone in the darkness. I couldn't save any of them." Tenzo snagged the bottle from the nightstand and took a drink, then came up sputtering.

Kakashi sat up as well, taking the bottle from Tenzo, half so he could get another drink and half because Tenzo didn't need more. He remembered well the facility where Tenzo had nearly killed him on Danzo's orders, the place where the sannin had done human testing. Kakashi sighed. "How long have you been having nightmares?" He took a drink and turned to face Tenzo. Belatedly, he remembered his earlier decision not to drink but given the current situation, it could hardly get any worse.

"For as long as I can remember." Tenzo scrubbed through his hair, obviously trying to fight the rising tide of intoxication. Sighing, Kakashi handed him the bottle and let him have another, small drink. Tenzo didn't even flinch this time. "How about you? How long have you had nightmares?"

Despite everything, Kakashi laughed. "Since I was a kid. It's part of our job as shinobi. We live with the nightmares of what we did, so nobody else has to."

"It's not fair," Tenzo grunted. "Why am I responsible for that? Why do we have to give so much?"

Kakashi sighed. He'd questioned the path once, but now he was committed to seeing it to the end. Probably on the wrong end of kunai. "Because we're shinobi," he answered, keeping his morose thoughts to himself.

"So our lot in life is to watch everyone and everything we care about get torn away and destroyed while showing no emotion? We're humans, not animals; I don't know how to turn this off." Tenzo shuddered, alcohol feeding his lack of emotional control.

Feeling the weight of the words, Kakashi placed a hand on Tenzo's bare shoulder. He was struck with just how young Tenzo was, in more than age. "This isn't Root. You can have emotion here."

"I don't want to," Tenzo groaned, tears finally spilling down his cheeks only to be brushed away instantly. "I can't act like none of these lives we're taking, and losing don't matter." Tenzo's dark eyes found Kakashi's in the darkness. "How have you done this for so long?"

"Just keep breathing, and putting one foot in front of the other." Kakashi could have told him a dozen things. The proof that Kakashi drank this much when out of the public eye should have screamed he that was handling it poorly. He raised a hand to rub at his sleep filled eyes, glancing down at the tangle of sheets around him. The single window spilled moonlight on the bed, glinting off the kunai he'd fallen asleep holding, an obscene security blanket. Picking it up, Kakashi spun it slowly through his fingers, wondering what Tenzo wanted him to say. "It gets easier."

Tenzo scoffed. "You're lying."

"Maybe," Kakashi mumbled, "but it's a necessary lie." Laying the kunai aside, he shook his head to clear the residual dizziness from the alcohol though it didn't help much. It was late, closer to dawn than midnight. "Did I wake you up?"

The man nodded, dark eyes bleary. "You were having a nightmare. You kept screaming in your sleep, so I came to check on you."

"And decided to get in bed with me as well?" Kakashi asked, peering over his shoulder. The effect of his stare was somewhat ruined by the unfocused expression alcohol painted on his face.

Tenzo's cheeks grew red, if only slightly. "I didn't want you to hurt yourself. You were waving that kunai around like you were surrounded by enemies. It seemed a bad idea to let you flail around after drinking as much as you did."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kakashi peered at the younger man more seriously now. "You were nearly passed out on the couch, how do you have any idea if I've had too much to drink?"

Tenzo lifted the bottle in his hand. There was hardly any liquid left sloshing around; it had been nearly full when carried it to his room. Had Kakashi drank that much without realizing to forget everything that had happened? Groaning, he rubbed a hand over his face. His head spun when he moved too quickly. Taking the bottle from Tenzo, Kakashi reached across him to put it back on the nightstand. "We've both had enough," he mumbled, falling back to the pillows, and rolling onto his side.

Part of Kakashi wanted to tell Tenzo it was time to go back to his own room but he couldn't trust him to walk there on his own. If he was honest, Kakashi didn't trust himself to walk there either. "Fuck," he grunted, squeezing his eyes shut. "I just want to sleep this off."

Kakashi knew he should do something about Tenzo, kick him back to the couch at least, but it felt like a lot more work than it was worth. Through his intoxicated state, he was surprised to realize that the warmth of Tenzo next to him was comforting in almost the same way as the alcohol. But, it was different too. _It's not that different from sleeping beside each other on missions,_ he thought, mind grasping at the concept as sleep overtook him.


	2. The Hangover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what was a seriously angsty fic became innuendo and Teasing Tenzo. I apologize for nothing

Tenzo woke with a pounding head and an aching body. Disjointed memories flashed through his mind but since he couldn't understand the snippets, Tenzo disregarded them. His tongue clung to the roof of his sandpaper dry mouth. Squinting one eye open, he found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling through blinding sunlight. Groaning, Tenzo tugged the blankets up to his chest, intending to go back to sleep. It was later than he normal slept in, but the idea of dragging himself out of bed didn't appeal. There were no pressing tasks needing his attention and they had just returned from a mission, so Tenzo could afford a couple more hours. _Unfamiliar ceiling_. Realization of his own thought crashed in with a stray memory from last night.

The memory was hazy, but Tenzo almost recalled coming to Kakashi's apartment last night. He groaned in frustration at himself, what had he been thinking? The captain would be furious at Tenzo for showing up unannounced without good reason. Since he was more or less alive, minus the hangover, Kakashi must have felt lenient last night. Would he still feel the same way this morning?

The second image that came back to Tenzo was alarmingly vivid, and he wished it wasn't. He remembered trying to wake Kakashi up. Then, failing that, he had restrained Kakashi until he stopped flailing. Tenzo had meant to get up and go back to the couch-he had-but Kakashi had been warm and Tenzo was so tired that he must have fallen asleep. By process of elimination, this had to be Kakashi's bed.

Tenzo felt sick to his stomach, and wondered if it might be possible to sneak out of Kakashi's apartment. Even with his muddled thoughts, he knew that was a bad idea. The chances of not waking his senpai were exactly zero, and somehow, being caught trying to leave felt like it would be more embarrassing than facing the situation head on. He'd had too much to drink last night, but he certainly wasn't the first person to do that. He could face this, laugh it off, then go about his business.

_But what am I supposed to say?_ Tenzo agonized over his options. Though he couldn't remember everything, he was sure that he'd made a complete fool of himself. Tenzo didn't want to bring back the memories, and his splitting headache was making it difficult to think anyway, so there was no point trying to remember. Delaying the inevitable wasn't going to help, at some point he'd have to face Kakashi. He might as well get it over with.

Rolling over, Tenzo glanced at the other side of the bed, surprised to find it empty. Running a hand over the sheet, he realized it was cold, like Kakashi had never been there. Though he couldn't remember specifics, Tenzo was almost positive that Kakashi had slept beside him last night. Either he'd dreamed that up, or Kakashi had been gone for a while.

Tenzo pushed himself into a sitting position, and glanced at the nightstand. There was a glass of water sitting where the bottle had been. Tenzo picked it up and drained it, spilling some from the corners of his mouth in his haste. He could count the number of hangovers he'd had on one hand, but even he knew that his body needed water. The best thing he could do right now was rehydrate. At least, Tenzo thought he remembered someone telling him that.

Feeling marginally better, Tenzo stood up and waited for the room to stop spinning. Logic tried to capture his mind, and remind him of the multitude of mistakes he'd made, but he ignored it for now. The first order of business was apologizing. _Apologizing or throwing up_ , he thought, feeling nauseated thought it lessened after a moment. The bedroom and bathroom were both empty, as were the main living space and kitchen area. Kakashi was nowhere to be found. Wherever he had gone, the man hadn't left any note or indication of it, and Tenzo wasn't sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

Since he couldn't find Kakashi, Tenzo decided to go home and shower before he did anything else. He could apologize once he felt normal. He didn't think, or smell like, he'd thrown up on himself but the scent of alcohol sweat wafted off him. Tenzo glanced at the door twice before raising his eyebrows. Where were his sandals? Kakashi's were gone, and there wasn't another pair in sight. It wasn't that far back to his own room, but the idea of walking around barefoot in public was humiliating. Tenzo was nothing if not proper.

Would Kakashi have done something with his shoes? That seemed unlikely. Another memory surfaced from the murky depth of forgetfulness. Tenzo remembered trying to put his sandals on but when he found the straps too difficult, he'd flung them aside and walked here anyway. His cheeks burned crimson. Kami-sama, what else had he done last night? Kakashi hadn't even mentioned his shoeless state. At least, not that Tenzo remembered. Surely the captain had noticed. The longer he knew him, the more Tenzo realized that Kakashi never missed anything, no matter how trivial.

Tenzo practically sprinted home. He was thankful for the small miracle of not bumping into anyone that he knew. When he stepped inside the familiar space, he sighed. Tenzo's own apartment was meticulous and the sandals were immediately obvious in the otherwise organized area. One lay over the arm of a chair, barely clinging on by the toe, and the other was on the opposite side of the room. Tenzo had definitely had far too much to drink last night, and that was before he went to see Kakashi. Groaning, he gathered the sandals up and put them in their usual place by the door, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Part of him wanted the memories to return, the rest of him was terrified of what he'd find out.

The desire to throw up eased somewhat once Tenzo reached the bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water was warming up, he peeled off his sweaty uniform and tossed it aside. The aches in his body were almost certainly from the mission. He hadn't been wounded badly, but he'd taken a few hits nonetheless. There was a tender place under his ribs and another on his thigh, already deep purple with the blood welling beneath the skin. He didn't remember what caused the fainter bruises on his knees or his collar bone, however. Tenzo brushed his fingers against the one closest to his neck, tipping his head to the side to examine it under the light. He didn't remember where that came from either. Shuddering, he stepped under the warm spray of water.

Tenzo stayed there until the water grew cold, reluctantly stepping out to toweling himself dry. The shower had helped clear his head, as did having lunch and another two glasses of water. Despite the embarrassment over what a fool he probably made of himself, Tenzo felt better. The insistent ache that something wasn't right didn't feel quite as sharp as it usually did. He needed to go find Kakashi and apologize for last night, but it would be better if he could remember what exactly he was apologizing for. Showing up and invading his captain's space not once, but twice in one evening, was high on the list.

By late afternoon, Tenzo worked up enough courage to leave his apartment. He already knew Kakashi wasn't at his apartment, at least he hadn't been earlier, and he wasn't in the hospital. Since they just got back, it was unlikely he'd had been sent on another mission and if he had, surely the silver-haired man would have wakened Tenzo to let him know. Eliminating the three most obvious places, that left the graveyard, the memorial stone, and the training grounds. Since the latter was the closest, Tenzo made his way there first.

Even though he was looking to talk to Kakashi, Tenzo wore his gear. If he couldn't find his senpai, at least he could train for a little while. Working up a sweat always cleared his mind. The grey flak vest made him warm despite the chill in the autumn air, but it wasn't unwelcome. He didn't head toward the main training area for the village, but the private ANBU ones. It would be pointless to have a covert group of soldiers if they were constantly walking around the village in their uniforms, even with masks on. For that reason, and probably others Tenzo hadn't thought about, ANBU had their own training fields.

Before he even reached their usual area, Tenzo heard the familiar laughter of the other members of his team. As usual, Shiranui Genma was spinning some tale that you could only half believe, and even that was being generous. Uzuki Yugao was laughing and though there was no sound from Kakashi, Tenzo could imagine the half smile that showed in the crease of his eye even as he shook his head at them.

Tenzo missed a step as his mind recalled an image of Kakashi without his mask. _Or his shirt_ , his subconscious added helpfully. That memory slammed back into Tenzo with enough force to stagger him. Kakashi had answered the door in just pants, silver hair disheveled, muscles and scars obvious on his chest and stomach. Tenzo exhaled, forcing the memory away, and continued toward the training ground.

Once Tenzo was close enough to see the trio, it became obvious they were relaxing after finishing today's training. There were traces of dirt on exposed skin and uniforms alike, and the targets around the space were filled with senbon, kunai, and shuriken. A variety of ninja weapons were scattered at the base of the three training posts that his teammates were lounging near.

Kakashi sat atop the center post, left knee drawn up and arm wrapped around it, looking the epitome of relaxed arrogance. There wasn't a speck of dirt on his uniform that Tenzo could see. A faint gleam of sweat showed on Yugao's face, plastering her purple bangs to her forehead, as she picked up weapons, and tucked them back into the pouches on her hips. She laughed and shook her head at Genma. The final member of Kakashi's team leaned his right shoulder against one of the posts, continuing his story.

"Hand in the air, every word true, the kid called me daddy and everything." Genma laughed, turning toward Kakashi. "He was probably, what would you say Hatake, four, maybe five?" The captain lifted his shoulders in a casual shrug.

"Are you sure it wasn't actually yours?" Yugao straightened, and adjusted the sword across her back. "You aren't too young to have a four or five-year-old running around. And with the stories you tell . . ."

The senbon wielding man glanced at her then chuckled. "I'm more a love 'em and leave 'em type rather than a father figure." He winked and rolled the weapon in his mouth to the opposite side.

"You do know how babies are made, don't you?" Yugao questioned, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

Kakashi shook his head from his perch. "He'd have to find a woman that wanted to be close to him more than five minutes for that to happen." Genma started to sputter a protest when the silver-haired man tipped his head to reveal that he saw their fourth teammate approaching.

"Yo, Tenzo." Kakashi continued in his usual, easy tone. "About time you showed up."

All three of them turned toward Tenzo, Genma and Yugao following Kakashi's gaze. Genma grinned and Tenzo slowed his step. Nothing good came from a smile like that. "It doesn't have to be a girl anyway, does it Tenzo?" Genma's hazel eyes roved over the newcomer, who turned crimson from crown to chin. "I could just have the captain tuck me in. He's a passable substitute, right?"

Before Tenzo could think of anything to respond with, Kakashi answered. "Don't be jealous, Genma," the man flicked his gaze to Tenzo's face. "If you were that drunk, I'd tuck you in too."

Genma laughed, and lifted his gaze to Kakashi, buying Tenzo time to force the blush from his cheeks. "No offense, but you aren't really my type, Hatake."

"He's not pretty enough for you?" Yugao asked, amusement sparkling in her voice as she joined in the teasing.

Genma pushed away from the post, still laughing. That was the thing about Genma, no matter how bad things went, the man was never far from laughter. Tenzo didn't understand how he managed to keep that attitude when he'd been doing this longer than any of them. "I don't know if he is or not, I can't get him out that damn mask long enough to find out."

"With an attitude like that you won't," Kakashi said, leaping down from his perch before turning his attention to Tenzo. "Not too hung over, I presume? You slept late enough to have missed the worst of it in any case." Kakashi glanced up at the sky; afternoon was fading quickly to evening.

"It's not too bad," Tenzo replied, touching his forehead. "Bit of a headache, but nothing that won't pass, I guess. Can I talk to you, senpai?" All three team members came up short at the formality of his voice, and the request. Tenzo should have waited until things were more at ease, but he wanted to get this out of the way as quickly as possible.

Kakashi shrugged. "Of course," he nodded before turning to the other two team members. It was both an unspoken request for privacy, and an obvious dismissal.

"Looks like they need some couple time," Genma chuckled, throwing an arm around Yugao's shoulder. "Let's get out of here."

The woman deftly shrugged out from under his touch, then smiled. "No offense Genma, but I'd rather spend the time training with Gekko."

"We've been training half the day already," Genma grumbled. "You know what you two are doing isn't really training, right? You're the reason the poor man always looks so exhausted these days."

Tenzo listened to them argue back and forth good naturedly until they disappeared from view. This team worked well together despite having such drastically different personalities and skills. He couldn't help but think most of it was due to Kakashi, who put everyone at ease. He certainly made Tenzo feel that way, at least, he used to. Now, he felt on edge and wondered what the man was thinking. As per usual, Kakashi slouched silently, hands in pockets. He was content to wait for Tenzo to bring up whatever he wanted to talk about.

"Um," Tenzo began lamely, trying to wrangle his words into a cohesive thought. "Listen, Kakashi. About last night, this morning, whatever." He trailed off, trying to figure out what his captain was thinking but the man didn't speak; he wasn't even looking at Tenzo. Kakashi's attention was entirely focused on a shuriken that he'd pulled from the post, twirling it lazily through his fingers. "What I mean to say is, um."

"Tenzo, you're blushing like a school girl." Kakashi finally turned to face his kohai. "You certainly weren't this shy last night." His visible eye was creased just enough for Tenzo to assume he was either smiling, or smirking beneath his mask.

At Kakashi's words, an even deeper shade of red covered Tenzo's cheeks. A wave of fear rolled through him. He probably didn't want to remember last night if that was what Kakashi had to say about it. "Senpai, I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't thinking. You had a lot more to drink than you should have." Kakashi paused, looking almost thoughtfully in the distance, then added. "We both did."

Tenzo had vague memories of sharing a drink with Kakashi, then waking up and hearing the other man screaming. The sound more than anything tore through his own alcohol induced slumber. Tenzo had been on Kakashi's team for several missions, but he'd never heard Kakashi sound that frightened before. Tenzo hadn't even thought before rushing to check on him. The rest was history. Albeit, an embarrassing history he was trying to forget.

"I don't remember much of the night," Tenzo said carefully, watching for Kakashi's reaction. As usual, the man didn't have one. "Did I, um, did we…" He trailed off. How the hell was he supposed to ask something like this?

Kakashi turned to look at Tenzo, seemingly unaffected by the conflict his kohai was feeling. "Did we what, Ten-chan?"

Tenzo groaned and immediately decided that he hated that nickname. There was no way Kakashi didn't know what Tenzo was asking; he wasn't that dense. The ass was enjoying this, standing there like he couldn't see how uncomfortable the whole situation made Tenzo.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Tenzo scowled. "Never mind, it doesn't even matter."

"Aw, don't be like that Ten-chan," Kakashi smiled with his eye and stepped closer, throwing his arm over Tenzo's shoulders much like Genma had done with Yugao. "Genma is just having fun with you, you know that right? I didn't tell him anything."

Tenzo glanced up at Kakashi, who was just slightly taller, and held his tongue. He wasn't going to give the man the enjoyment of knowing how much the whole situation bothered him. _Wait a minute. Didn't tell him anything? Did that mean there was something to tell?_

"You gave Genma a lot of material at the bar last night. I bet you don't remember half of your antics, do you?" Kakashi paused, and when Tenzo still didn't answer, he continued. "After everything you drank, Genma knew that I was taking you back to your room. That's all he meant."

Tenzo was surprised at the sudden release of tension in his chest upon hearing that Kakashi hadn't said anything about him spending the night. Though, in retrospect, it wouldn't have made much sense. Kakashi wasn't the type of person to gossip about someone. Tenzo was still annoyed that Kakashi wouldn't answer his question, but he wasn't going to push it. Maybe the memory would come back, and maybe it wouldn't. It didn't matter. Tenzo hardly planned to end up drunk enough to stumble into Kakashi's bed a second time.

"Spar with me," Kakashi said suddenly, dropping into a fighting crouch. "Sweating it out will take care of the alcohol in your system." He smiled under the mask and added. "And it will help take your mind off other things."

Tenzo could imagine the grin on Kakashi's face with the way his voice curled around the last two words. He reached for the kunai in his pouch; it would be his pleasure to wipe the smug look off the man's face, even if he couldn't see it vanish.


	3. Recalled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't forgotten this story, I've just been struggling to find a direction I wanted it to go. A while ago, I took the chapters down briefly and edited them all to be more cohesive for the direction I wanted the story to go. Now that I know, hopefully it will be easier to update despite the chaos that is life.

By the time dusk fell, sweat poured off Tenzo's body, and no less than three new injuries throbbed in time with his heartbeat. He lay flat on his back, covered in dust and blood, staring up at the darkening sky. Kakashi glanced down with a smug expression and offered a hand. Tenzo accepted, allowing the other man to pull him onto his feet. It annoyed him that Kakashi's breathing hadn't increased as a result of their fight, especially since he'd managed to get through Tenzo's defenses so many times.

"I really thought you'd dodge the last one," Kakashi said by way of apology. The silver-haired Anbu grasped Tenzo's chin with his free hand, tilting it from the side to side to examine his busted lip in the fading light. "That's going to bruise."

Tenzo jerked back a step, wiping blood away with his sleeve. "You think?" Annoyance colored his voice as he thumbed at the brilliant stab of pain in his mouth. Kakashi had caught him off guard with several quick taijutsu attacks. Though he'd avoided most of them, one jab had broken through, jamming Tenzo's lip into his teeth. Kakashi's next kick had sent him sprawling.

"Don't worry, bruises will only improve your appearance." Kakashi's casual tone made Tenzo wonder if he'd heard the words correctly.

After a second to process, the younger man rolled his eyes. "Just lay off already," Tenzo grumbled, dusting off his pants. "Genma is bad enough; you don't have to make it worse, senpai."

Equal parts annoyance, hurt, and embarrassment swirled through Tenzo as he looked at Kakashi. The past twenty-four hours were mostly lost in the haze of hangover, but Tenzo would have gladly undone it all if he could. Especially the part where he ended up in bed with Kakashi. He almost wished the memory would come back. That way, at least he would know whether he deserved the teasing. The nagging uncertainty refused to let his mind rest.

"I'm going to get dinner," Tenzo paused to see if Kakashi wanted to come, then shrugged. "I'll see you around."

As he turned, Tenzo thought Kakashi might follow. The older man took two steps then paused, tipping his head to the side as if trying to catch a sound. Tenzo didn't wait. If Kakashi wanted to join him, he would.

Tenzo stayed away from the main village since he wore his ANBU uniform. Instead, he kept to the compound set aside for black ops. Even though there weren't many people out, Tenzo lengthened his stride. He wanted to get home, make dinner, and forget about everything that had happened today.

He _almost_ made it. Tenzo's foot had just settled on the bottom stair leading up to his apartment when he heard the voice. "Yo, Tenzo. Wait up."

Despite himself, the ANBU took a breath before turning toward Kakashi. The man slouched in the shadows, lazy expression in his eye. Not for the first time, Tenzo wondered how long it had taken him to start recognizing Kakashi's emotions by the mere fraction of his face that was visible. It astounded him that the man managed to portray so much with so little.

A murky image surfaced in the back of Tenzo's mind, a Kakashi who looked nothing like the one standing before him now. Without a headband to hold it in place, silver hair fell into charcoal and crimson eyes. Kakashi looked both younger and more vulnerable than Tenzo had ever seen, holding a glass to his bare lips. Tenzo belatedly realized that Kakashi wasn't wearing a shirt or mask in the memory. Blushing, he dragged himself back to the present.

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow. "Are you listening? We have a mission; be at the gate in ten minutes. We'll be gone two weeks, possibly longer." Kakashi bit off the words, then disappeared, leaving Tenzo to stare at the wall where he'd been.

Several seconds later, Kakashi's words sank in. Tenzo bounded up the stairs to his apartment and started gathering the necessary items. He'd barely cleaned out his pack after they'd gotten back from their most recent mission, so everything was more or less in order. Dumping several rations bars onto the top, he tore off the wrapper of one and choked it down. It tasted roughly equivalent to what Tenzo imagined a flak vest would taste like. A particularly dirty, sweaty flak vest. Shuddering, he filled a glass of water and drained it, washing the remnants from his mouth.

After turning off all the lights and checking that the windows were locked, Tenzo was ready. With one last look at his meticulously neat apartment, the man pulled the door closed.

Anbu had their own entrance to the village located near the Hokage's compound so that they could come and go at all hours. Approaching the gate, Tenzo saw Yugao standing in the shadows, picking idly at her nails. Of course, she would be the first one there. The woman held her porcelain mask in the other hand. When she saw Tenzo, Yugao smiled. "It's just us so far. I'm sure Kakashi will be late, and Genma always waits until the last minute."

"I resent that," Genma complained, buckling on a grey flak vest as he approached the pair. "I can't help that Kakashi gave us five minutes to get here."

Armor secured, Genma turned his attention elsewhere. Hazel eyes skimmed the area around the gate, undoubtedly looking for Kakashi. It wasn't in their captain's nature to be on time, for anything. As the three of them waited, Tenzo felt Genma's gaze travel to his face, then his lip. A familiar, teasing smile curled around the tokujo senbon. "Love bite? I didn't expect you to enjoy-"

"Good, you're all here." Kakashi interrupted. "Tenzo, Yugao in the middle, Genma in the back. I don't expect any issues this close to Konoha, but keep your eyes open."

Tenzo fell into position, pulling his mask on. As they moved through the semi-darkness, he watched Kakashi. There was a subtle difference in the way the man held himself, a slight shifting of his shoulders that told Tenzo that his captain was worried about something. Stifling his own curiosity, Tenzo held his tongue and followed Kakashi into the forest.

It was unusual for Kakashi's team to be called away again, especially after the losses they'd suffered on the last mission. Yet, none of the Anbu commented on it. In fact, no one spoke at all while they leapt from branch to branch. Tenzo let his mind drift as the autumn air drew chill bumps on his arms. At least he wasn't still soaked in sweat. Tenzo loved the forest at night, there was something calming about it. Soft silver light dappled the world, the leaves whispered as they caught the breeze, and the damp freshness of earth made him feel alive.

Breathing deeply, Tenzo gazed at the shadows, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing moved beyond the quiet stirring of creatures or the woodland sounds that had soothed him to sleep more times than he could count. So many people thought the forest was quiet, but Tenzo knew better. When all sound ceased out here, something was wrong. And tonight, the steady whirring of noise filled the air, completely undisturbed by the Anbu's passage.

After several hours, exhaustion pulled at Tenzo's body. He hadn't slept enough last night, and the spar with Kakashi left his muscles watery and weak. Yugao's head drooped toward her chest once, but neither of them complained. Glancing back, Tenzo watched Genma move as if he never needed to stop; Kakashi was the same. That's why the pair had taken up the more crucial positions, leaving the newer, weaker members in the middle.

When Kakashi raised a hand, the entire group paused, crouching in the trees. The captain glanced at Genma and spun his right fist in a quick circle. The older shinobi leaped away, checking the surrounding area for any threat. The others waited until they got the all clear, then dropped onto the ground below. Bushes and trees sheltered the area, forming a solid hedge on one side. It would be easy to guard.

"We'll rest here for a few hours, I'd rather not resort to food pills this early." Kakashi slung his pack onto the ground, and the others followed. "No fire. Ration bars, if you need them. If not, sleep." Kakashi unhooked the bedroll and laid it on the ground. Out of habit, Tenzo spread his next to Kakashi's and sat down, removing his mask to take a drink.

"Oh, no you don't." Genma stood over the pair, hazel eyes shifting from face to face. Tenzo groaned inwardly, the man wore that infuriating smile which never meant anything good. "I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and look at what happened to poor Tenzo's lip. I'm ashamed of you captain. As if taking advantage of him when he was drunk wasn't bad enough. I expect at least six inches between your bedrolls tonight."

Yugao shook her head as she spread her blanket on the opposite side of the clearing. Tenzo caught a glimpse of her before dropping his face into his hands, blushing at the implication. Kakashi glanced between the members of his team, settling on the embarrassed Tenzo, before shrugging. "Six inches won't be enough, will it Ten-chan?"

Genma chuckled, and Tenzo's cheeks flamed bright enough to be seen even in the moonlight. Leaping to his feet, he grabbed his blanket from the ground. "I'll take the first watch," he grumbled, springing for the trees without waiting for an answer.

* * *

Kakashi watched Tenzo disappear into the foliage, eye creased into a smile. The man was far too touchy for his own good, and Genma enjoyed getting under his skin. Even Kakashi found himself amused by how easily Tenzo grew flustered. If he didn't get bothered by the teasing, eventually Genma would grow bored and leave him alone. As it was, the reactions only added fuel to the fire.

Shaking his head, Kakashi glanced up at Genma, who grinned at his success. Then again, Genma was always grinning about something. "I'll take second watch," Kakashi suggested, and the other man nodded. "Get some sleep."

Once the rest of his team retired to their blankets, Kakashi wrapped in his and peered into the leaves where Tenzo had disappeared. The younger man was nowhere to be seen, but Kakashi knew he was there. Though they didn't have long to rest, no matter how badly he needed it, Kakashi wasn't tired. He'd drunk too much yesterday, which usually made him sleep like death, but that hadn't been the case last night. Kakashi had woken up, and found Tenzo beside him. It had been-his thoughts skittered restlessly for the right word- _comforting._

Kakashi didn't dwell on the thought, opting instead to think about the mission details scrawled on the scroll inside his flak vest. He'd hoped that his team would be able to deal with the deaths on their last mission before being sent out again. Kakashi and Genma didn't need it; they had seen comrades die often enough that they could switch off their emotions in a heartbeat. The two younger members probably hadn't had the time to develop those reflexes yet. Yugao was gentle and kind, the type that he expected to be bothered by death. So far, Kakashi hadn't been able to get a read on her emotions. She'd done well at training earlier, so he assumed that there was no reason to worry. Kakashi would keep an eye on her, though, that was his job as captain.

Then, there was Tenzo. As a former Root member, his reaction to the deaths had surprised Kakashi. Logic, rather than emotion, usually guided the younger man. Kakashi remembered the boy that nearly killed him without question. Then, Tenzo had abandoned the mission, saved Kakashi's life, and sparked the series of events that led to his placement on Kakashi's Anbu team. Maybe Tenzo had been cool logic out of necessity, a twisted survival instinct trained into him by Danzo, rather than his true personality. _He'll learn soon enough,_ Kakashi thought cynically, emptying his mind and forcing himself to sleep.

Two days later, when his team crossed the border with the Land of Rivers, Kakashi paused and pulled his everyone aside. It was past time they went over the mission that they were about to start. The details had been running through Kakashi's mind since he received the scroll, but he had yet to discuss it. Genma was the only one experienced enough to know that something was off with Kakashi's behavior, but he didn't ask.

"This mission is primarily reconnaissance." Kakashi looked at each person in turn, making sure that he had their full attention. "Our target has connections to the intel we captured on our last mission."

Genma met Kakashi's eyes, all hints of amusement disappearing instantly. While he was a prankster most of the time, the man knew when it was time to get to work. He took his position as a protector of the village seriously.

"There's a man in this village named Kiramo." Kakashi consulted the scroll in his hand once more before incinerating it. "He has information about the whereabouts of Raiden, the head of a rogue ninja organization which poses a direct threat to Konoha."

Kakashi paused and looked at the three shinobi surrounding him. Could he trust them to divorce themselves from emotion with the knowledge that Raiden had ordered the death of their comrades? Genma, a veteran who took everything in stride, would be able to. Tenzo and Yugao, maybe or maybe not. Kakashi decided to withhold the information from everyone but Genma. He would almost certainly be going in for the assassination anyway.

"Tenzo and I should go into the village," Genma interrupted, grinning at Kakashi. "You and Yugao are too recognizable. Unless you want to dye your hair?"

Kakashi smacked Genma's hand away before the man could get a grip on his silver hair. "You'll be in radio contact at all times."

"Aw, don't you trust me with him? We'll have to get a room together and everything." Genma threw an arm over Tenzo's shoulders and leaned close. "Don't worry, if you drink too much, I can tuck you in. I'm even better at it-"

"If either of you get drunk while on a mission, it will be the last one you see as part of my team." Kakashi interrupted, voice sharp as steel.

Genma chuckled and pushed away from Tenzo. "No need to be jealous, captain. I'll behave myself. This time."

"I highly doubt that," Kakashi snorted from beneath his mask. "The town is large enough that our target will have security in place. Tenzo and Genma will scout the village, find a place to stay, and investigate the situation. Yugao and I will follow tonight, once you've established a base."

After a round of nods, Genma dropped his pack to the ground and began removing his armor. Tenzo watched him with a frown until the tokujo started laughing. "I know I'm distracting to look at, but you need to get changed too, Ten-chan. Or were you planning to walk into the village in your Anbu gear?"

"Stop calling me that," Tenzo growled, lowering his pack from his shoulder.

Genma pulled a long-sleeved shirt over his sleeveless Anbu top and tucked his senbon behind one ear. Frowning, he tugged off the headband that held his hair back, and ran his fingers through the caramel locks. Kakashi watched Tenzo get ready, then nodded. Though the men still had the lithe, muscular build of shinobi, their clothing marked them as civilians. Albeit, incredibly fit civilians. With one last warning look at Genma, Kakashi sent the men on their way.

* * *

"I don't think this is what senpai meant," Tenzo mumbled under his breath. They had walked around the town for over an hour, looking more like tourists than shinobi. Genma had stopped to get dango at a stand on the street, appearing totally at ease. He made casual look natural.

"This is exactly what he meant," Genma answered, grinning at the woman eyeing him up and down from across the street. "We're supposed to be blending in with the crowd, not standing out. Relax, you look on edge."

Tenzo exhaled and nodded, affecting a lazy posture. He felt the tension running through every inch of his body, but he fought it down. Genma tipped his head toward the woman and clapped Tenzo's back. "I need to gather some information. If I'm not back in ten minutes, I'll met up with you in a few hours." Before Tenzo could protest, the man sauntered across the street.

"This had better not be like that time in Iwa, Genma," Kakashi's disembodied voice growled in Tenzo's ear. "She better have some useful information, rather than the most enchanting _eyes_ you've ever seen."

To his credit, Genma didn't miss a step as he began flirting with the stranger. The radio remained on, so Tenzo could hear every word the man said, but he blocked the voice to a dull buzz in the back of his mind. Alone, in a strange village, surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces, Tenzo forced himself to focus. He needed to find a base for their mission. Though there were a handful of inns down the street, Tenzo knew that wasn't what Kakashi had in mind. They needed something out of the way, where two men could come and go at all hours without drawing attention. It had to be discrete.

After half an hour, Tenzo found an area of town that was less polished than the rest. There were no families crowding the streets, and no shops. Only dilapidated buildings falling into ruin surrounded Tenzo, their face gritty with dirt. A handful of tough men and women wandered about in what Tenzo could only assume were gangs, but he avoided them easily.

Finding a likely enough building, Tenzo ducked inside. The air smelled heavily of mildew and disuse, an indicator that the building was vacant. All the windows were broken out, glass glittering on the floor among the stones that cracked the panes. Grime had gathered in the corners of rooms, swirled there by the wind.

Lifting a hand, Tenzo activated his radio. "I found a place that looks likely enough for a few nights. It won't be comfortable, but it's in the less frequented part of town, so we can come and go as we please."

"Good work," Kakashi answered, falling silent as Tenzo gave him directions.

Both the captain and Yugao reached the building within two hours, just after nightfall. While they didn't appear to be impressed with his choice, Kakashi nodded. "Better than sleeping in the rain at least."

The group of Anbu moved quickly, spreading out their sleeping rolls and setting up watches. They were just getting settled, Kakashi with his book while Yugao and Tenzo kept watch, when Genma sauntered into the room. For a moment, the tension was thick enough that it sucked the air out. "Well?" Kakashi's voice remained steady

Genma grinned. "Would you believe that she had the beautiful smile I've ever seen?"

Kakashi's shuriken missed him by less than half of an inch.


End file.
